Black ‘Supermoms’ Unite to Fight Autism Stigma and Share Support
Chinyere Ubani recalls the emotional breakthrough that came after years of silent struggle. Her 13-year-old son, Ugochukwu, who has autism, faced bullying at school and difficulty managing his emotions. Six years after immigrating from Nigeria to Canada, Ubani struggled to access adequate support. During an event for parents of children with autism, she hesitated to share her challenges. As she prepared to leave, the organizer noticed her distress and asked if she was okay. Ubani broke down in tears, releasing pent-up emotions she had held inside.
“I had so many pent-up emotions,” Ubani said. “I didn’t go there to cry on her shoulders. It was as if a tap just opened.”
That moment led Ubani to the ‘supermoms’ group, a network of Black mothers supporting children with special needs, including autism. She found relief in connecting with others who shared her background and experiences. “Someone that looks like you, that’s on that same journey with you — it is easier for that person to relate to your story,” she explained.
Building a Supportive Community
The group, organized by Adenike Adesina, hosts regular meetings where mothers chat, exchange resources, and celebrate their children’s milestones. Adesina, who moved from Nigeria in 2018 with her son Mogboluwaga on the autism spectrum, faced similar hurdles. She anticipated judgment-free access to autism resources in Canada but encountered long wait times and cultural shame surrounding disabilities.
“I still see people of my skin colour hiding these children,” Adesina said. “They don’t want people to know they have children on the spectrum.”
In 2023, Adesina compiled a contact list of mothers from her church community who had children with special needs, dubbing them ‘supermoms.’ The name resonated and grew into a vital support system. Most members hail from Nigeria, where cultural beliefs often frame autism as a curse or punishment, leading families to conceal their children. Adesina once shared this mindset, questioning if she had done something wrong to ‘reap’ such a diagnosis.
“It wasn’t easy at the beginning,” Adesina admitted, noting the challenge of overcoming preconceptions to encourage participation.
Now, Adesina focuses on empowering other Black parents to embrace their children. “I celebrate him a lot,” she said of her son, whom she calls her best friend.
A Safe Space for Sharing and Growth
The ‘supermoms’ network has expanded to a WhatsApp group of over 60 women, fostering open conversations about challenges and victories. Members share encouraging messages, practical advice on navigating Canadian health care and school systems, and resources for autism support. In-person gatherings allow for casual activities like doing makeup or letting children play.
Titilope Kazeem-Oshinubi, who joined two years ago, describes the group as transformative. Her daughter, Erife, now 7, received an autism diagnosis as a toddler—a condition Kazeem-Oshinubi had never heard of before. To better support her, she pursued a degree in social work.
“It’s a community that you can always go to be yourself,” Kazeem-Oshinubi said. “A non-judgmental zone.”
Despite progress, stigma persists. Kazeem-Oshinubi notes friends outside the group who avoid Erife, viewing her as disruptive. “I can’t even take my child to their house,” she shared. Within the group, however, she feels less isolated. Many potential members hesitate to join due to shame, with some unwilling to accept their child’s autism diagnosis.
“Some moms … are not ready to accept [their child has] autism,” Kazeem-Oshinubi observed. “But we’re doing our best for the ones that are ready.”
The ‘supermoms’ continue their efforts to reduce barriers, providing a vital lifeline amid Ontario’s lengthy waits for core autism services, which advocates say now exceed five years.
