DEAR ABBY: I simply left a verbally and bodily abusive relationship. I endure from psychological sickness, and “Scott” made it worse. We lived collectively for nearly 4 years. I may beat myself up over deciding to dwell with him. He’s an alcoholic, narcissistic, bipolar, sociopathic liar who swears he’s a person of God. Scott kicked me out numerous instances throughout the time we lived collectively, realizing I had nowhere to go. 5 months in the past was the final time.
I nonetheless love him and take care of him, however I discovered final month that he met somebody at AA and took her in. She had been dwelling with him till yesterday. We have been nonetheless “collectively” till two weeks in the past however with none romantic encounters. I’m torn to items over this man. It has taken me over and who I used to be as an individual.
Scott has a historical past of abuse. He has a felony report for killing an animal when he was staying with somebody. I didn’t keep away from him as a result of I used to be sucked in by his appeal. I’m now dwelling with a good friend and seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist who’re doing NOTHING for me! Scott and I have been engaged. We have been going to get married pending his being sober for a 12 months, which by no means occurred. I don’t know what to do. Please assist. — BROKEN WING IN MINNESOTA
DEAR BROKEN WING: As I learn your letter, I hear the strains of Cole Porter’s “So in Love.” PLEASE search for the lyrics as a result of they describe you precisely. What it’s essential to do is proceed speaking along with your therapist and getting meds out of your psychiatrist till they provide help to undo your fixation on somebody who, in case your description of him is correct, is a sociopath and incapable of loving anyone. Till you are able to do that, your story is not going to have a contented ending.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 66-year-old lady, married with two daughters. I’m additionally 5-foot-2 and weigh 108 kilos. This isn’t one thing new. However each time there’s a gathering with my in-laws, at the least considered one of them says I must put meat on my bones — in these actual phrases. I believe it’s impolite and offensive. I’m actually not telling any of them to take meat off their bones.
I can’t assist my dimension, metabolism or genetics, and I’m uninterested in the feedback. These folks have identified me for 39 years. I’ve all the time been this dimension. I don’t know what to say to them. I not care anymore about being form. — SLIGHT IN OHIO
DEAR SLIGHT: In case you actually don’t care about offending the offenders, take off your child gloves. Inform your in-laws you’ve tolerated their feedback for too lengthy and to give up doing it since you don’t prefer it. If, heaven forbid, they are saying you’re “too delicate,” ask them how they want being advised they’re too heavy and that their fragrance smells like rubbish. (I’m positive you’ll be able to consider one thing when you cease laughing.)
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
