DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to my husband for 2 months. I haven’t advised anybody I’m married besides my shut family and friends. Somebody just lately messaged me about my husband, stating that he has Asperger’s. They know my title and have my telephone quantity. I don’t know who this particular person is or why they might inform me this now.
I already suspected my husband has Asperger’s, so I’m not shocked, however that is consuming me up inside. I can’t sleep. I can’t suppose. I just lately misplaced my mother to most cancers. Now I’m going through this. I beforehand dated a narcissist who used to lie commonly.
However in spite of everything that heartbreak and torment, I’m now with somebody who lies to me once more? I’m so confused and upset. I actually do wish to ask my husband to get assessed. I don’t suppose I can belief him anymore. Do you’ve got recommendation for me? — LOSING AGAIN IN CANADA
DEAR LOSING: Let me level out that people who write nameless letters often should not attempting to be useful and as an alternative could also be attempting to trigger hassle in your marriage. Earlier than asking your husband to be assessed for Asperger’s, go surfing and browse as a lot details about it as you’ll be able to.
You may additionally contemplate contacting the Affiliation for Autism and Neurodiversity (aane.org), which has been talked about in my column earlier than.
If what you study from dependable assets signifies that it could possibly be your husband’s drawback, then by all means recommend he be assessed. He might not essentially be “mendacity” to you as a lot as being in denial. This doesn’t must destroy a wedding. Many profitable persons are on the spectrum.
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DEAR ABBY: My greatest good friend and co-worker is 57. I’m 32. Her husband died two years in the past, leaving her and her 22-year-old son alone. We’ve been greatest associates and colleagues for the final six years, however over the previous couple of months, I’ve been realizing she’s much more to me than only a good friend.
I’m nervous about attempting to make advances as a result of I don’t know if the emotions are mutual or how she views our age distinction. I don’t wish to danger ruining our friendship.
I simply know that my coronary heart skips a couple of beats when our eyes meet or our fingers accidently contact. I’ve realized these previous couple of months that I’m falling laborious for her, and I’m afraid to let her know. If I don’t, nevertheless, my emotions are going to eat me alive. What ought to I do? — FALLING FOR HER IN KANSAS
DEAR FALLING: Ask your greatest good friend (and co-worker) to affix you for an informal lunch or dinner. Hold it gentle however inform her how a lot you take pleasure in her firm and ask if the age distinction between you bothers her. If the reply isn’t any, clarify that you simply care very a lot for her and surprise if she’d be open to the concept of relationship you.
If she says sure, and there are guidelines at your job that discourage “fraternizing,” you’ll have to search out one other place to work. If she responds that relationship can be awkward, let her know you’ll at all times be her good friend since you suppose she is particular.
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Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
