DEAR ABBY: I’m a really chubby girl, however down 50 kilos from my prime weight and persevering with at a constant, however gradual, price to lose. My A1C is now all the way down to pre-diabetic, so I do know my efforts are making a distinction. I just lately had a horrible bout of sciatica and ache in an arthritic knee, which stored me from some anticipated journey.
A superb (so I assumed) buddy who was affected by my cancellation steered that maybe my weight was inflicting the sciatica and arthritis, and if I misplaced extra weight, issues would go higher. (DUH!!) Numerous skinny folks undergo from sciatica and arthritis, and it felt to me that her remark was condescending, hurtful, and disrespectful. I don’t know what I really feel, aside from like throwing a canned ham at her. She has finished this earlier than.
When one other pricey buddy died, and I expressed my grief and teared up, this identical “buddy” steered I’d do higher if I obtained out extra and socialized. This was throughout COVID.
Is there something I can say to her? Ought to I ignore her feedback and press on with the “friendship,” or is it time to maneuver on? I’d like to inform her off, however I see no worth in countering her extra refined kind with overt aggression. Is there a single, good, lethal one-liner I might have used? — SLOW LOSER IN NEW YORK
DEAR SLOW LOSER: As I see it, you’ve gotten two methods to play this hand. The following time this girl says one thing grossly insensitive, inform her it’s her third strike and repeat what you’ve gotten written to me about what comes out of her mouth. Or just do your self a favor and to any extent further ice her out. (She could have been making an attempt that will help you — in some bizarre method — or she’s clueless.)
DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son-in-law have determined to maneuver his mother from California to our house state of Tennessee. The children have a stunning house about an hour from my husband and me. Each are professionals. They’ve been married for 10 years and haven’t any kids.
The mother, “Anita,” has an single daughter with two children residing along with her now and utilizing her cash. Anita needs to flee and be left alone. I’m afraid this might spell catastrophe for my daughter’s marriage. Their plan is to rework their attic in order that they have the upstairs and Anita has the downstairs.
Ought to I specific my issues to my daughter or each of them, or hold my mouth shut? We have now an excellent relationship, and I by no means insert my opinion into their enterprise. — PROTECTOR IN THE SOUTH
DEAR PROTECTOR: If that is nonetheless within the starting stage and the undertaking has not but begun, point out your issues to your daughter and son-in-law collectively. One drawback that happens to me is likely to be in case your son-in-law’s sister plans to convey the youngsters and dwell along with her mom sooner or later. Nonetheless, upon getting introduced this up, don’t insert your self any additional.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
