Stephen Colbert took a have a look at a few of the specifics of the health take a look at required to hitch ICE on Wednesday evening, and he got here away with a “sizzling tip” — for immigrants.
Throughout his monologue, the CBS host identified that President Trump continues to be “terrorizing communities” nationwide along with his ICE raids, and needs extra groups of individuals to ship out. However, recruiting has hit a little bit of a wall as a result of greater than a 3rd of candidates have failed the health take a look at.
“To move the ice health take a look at, contributors should do 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups and run 1.5 miles in 14 minutes,” Colbert defined. “Nicely, there’s a sizzling tip for immigrants! Be taught to run 1.6 miles and ICE can by no means catch you.”
Colbert additionally joked that the failure charge needs to be used to encourage any candidates, earlier than imagining how that might truly look.
“All proper, cadets, look to your left. Now look to your proper,” he joked, placing on a stern voice. “Now take a break. You guys should be exhausted!”
In line with one official, the health struggles have gotten so unhealthy amongst ICE that he refers to his recruits as “athletically allergic.” And to that, Colbert may sympathize.
“You snicker, however that’s an actual factor. I’m allergic to athletic!” he joked. “That’s why I at all times carry my Epi-Garlic Breadstick.”
Elsewhere in his monologue, Colbert roasted Trump for making an attempt to sue his personal Justice Division for $230 million, the president’s destruction of the East Wing of the White Home, and receiving the “undoubtedly heard of it earlier than” Richard Nixon Architect of Peace Award.
You may watch Stephen Colbert’s full monologue within the video above.
