WARNING: This article includes details of intimate partner violence and sexual assault.
Gisèle Pelicot, 73, rejects labels like victim, survivor, or icon. Instead, she describes herself as “an optimist.” Despite the horrors of her ex-husband’s trial in September 2024, where he was convicted of drugging and raping her while unconscious and enlisting at least 50 other men, she holds onto faith in love, men, and happiness.
The Shocking Trial in Avignon
Nearly six years ago, police in southeastern France confronted Pelicot with thousands of photos and videos documenting the assaults orchestrated by her ex-husband, Dominique Pelicot, starting in 2011. Authorities identified 50 men from the roughly 20,000 files. All were convicted of sexual assault after Pelicot’s husband recruited them online to attack her without consent.
Dominique Pelicot received the maximum 20-year sentence under French law. The other men faced terms from three to 15 years. Pelicot waived her right to anonymity, emerging outside the Avignon courthouse daily as a symbol of strength and dignity. She insisted the trial remain public to give voice to other women.
“In the street, women tell me: ‘You’re an icon.’ I would say I’m more like a symbol or a landmark in these women’s lives, because the trial really gave them a voice,” she states. “But really, I’m an ordinary woman who refused that the trial be closed to the public.”
Releasing Her Memoir: A Hymn to Life
In her new memoir, A Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides, Pelicot channels her experiences into a message of hope. “I’ve always believed in happiness,” she affirms. “And that’s essential, in my mind, because if there isn’t love, I can’t see why we would be here on Earth.”
She writes, “I know my story has fuelled disgust for men, but it has not done that for me. I still have faith in people. Once that was my greatest weakness, now it is my strength, my revenge.” The book reconciles her memories of 50 years of marriage with the betrayal, emphasizing that shame belongs to the perpetrators.
Family Fractured by Betrayal
The revelations shattered Pelicot’s family, including her three adult children. She filed for divorce while her ex-husband awaited trial, severing all contact. Her daughter, Caroline Darian, discovered intimate photos of herself on his computer and believes she suffered abuse as well. Darian has filed charges against her father, who denied the claims in court.
“Today, each of us is trying to heal as best we can, but we each felt it differently and had different kinds of suffering,” Pelicot explains. “I mean, for the kids, this was their dad … and that all crashed down.” She clings to family photos of happier times to cope, insisting those decades were not a lie.
Embracing New Love and Hope
Pelicot grapples with cognitive dissonance: her ex-husband appeared sweet, shy, a good father and grandfather—until the “bomb exploded” with police evidence. “When I found out what he had done to me, it was like a bomb exploded in my life,” she recalls. “But I wanted to establish that he hadn’t been some monster his whole life. Well, ‘monster’ — I don’t like that word. They’re monstrous acts. He’s still a human being, despite what he did.”
Amid the pain, Pelicot found unexpected love. Her new partner stood by her through the trial. “I’m not looking back, I’m looking forward. I allow myself to be happy today,” she declares. “I’ll always be there for women, if they need me, to give them strength, to encourage them to go all the way if they’re going to press charges. But I also aspire to a peaceful life and to take advantage of the years I have left.”
If you’re in immediate danger, call emergency services. For support, seek local crisis lines and services.
