Stephen Colbert roasted Vice President JD Vance for the wasteful method he celebrated his birthday, declaring him an “insane spoiled child emperor” and sealing the joke by donning a JD Vance masks to painting a brand new character, “Widdle Pwince Vance” throughout his monologue.
Colbert was set off by the information Thursday that lately, Vance went kayaking in Ohio for his birthday and ordered the key service to have the river’s water degree raised.
Now, earlier than Colbert bought to that subject, he mentioned the already dangerous results Donald Trump’s tariffs are having on the U.S. economic system and in addition mocked Apple CEO Tim for the best way he buttered Trump up to keep away from tariffs on Apple merchandise. That introduced him to the Vice President.
“Tim Cook dinner touring from distant lands to current our chieftain with a treasured ingot is simply the most recent occasion that makes you are feeling like our nation is plunging head first into techno feudalism, the place the wealthy and highly effective function the levers of presidency solely for their very own private achieve,” Colbert mentioned. “However now and again, a narrative comes alongside and provides me a glimmer of hope.”
“This isn’t one in every of them,” Colbert quipped.
“As a result of we simply discovered that JD Vance ordered a river’s water degree raised for his household boat journey on his birthday. That is such an insane spoiled child Emperor transfer that I’ve no selection however to interrupt out my new character,” Colbert mentioned as he put a masks of JD Vance’s brow, eyes and notice on, “Widdle Pwince Vance.
“Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye. I need my water waised for my birthday,” Colbert mentioned in an exaggerated child voice. “Additionally. I don’t like how blue the sky is. Paint it wed. Now give me juice field. Juice field!”
After somebody off digital camera handed Colbert a juice field, he sipped it and shouted, “Juice apple? Kill him now!”
“Netflix, name me. I’m obtainable in June,” Colbert joked as he seemed immediately into the digital camera.
“Apparently, JD Vance wished to go boating for his birthday, so his staff requested the Military Corps of Engineers quickly improve the outflow from a close-by lake to the river in what’s known as a particular launch. Nicely, in fact, in your birthday, who doesn’t desire a particular launch?” Colbert continued.
“Formally, this river manipulation was out of the extraordinary. Usually, the Military Corps of Engineers solely does this after they’re coaching emergency responders,” he added.
At that, Colbert rapidly put the masks again on and mentioned in the identical exaggerated child voice, “there was an emergency! I wished extra wawa for my birthday, boats. Now there’s one other emergency. Hiya, police. I’m hungry. Get me Papa John’s. He’s closed? Kill him!”
Watch the entire amusing monologue beneath:
